Lessons Learned
by ShakNali
Summary: Peter and Susan discuss what they've learned in Narnia.    NOTE: Peter, Susan, Aslan and all the rest belong to C.S. Lewis. The words belong to me.


**LESSONS LEARNED**

_Peter and Susan discuss what they've learned in Narnia._

"Peter?" Peter looked over at Susan's questioning voice. His sister sat near him on the blanket they'd brought out into the back yard. Lucy and Edmund had gone to visit friends for the night and by unspoken agreement the two older Pevensies had headed outdoors. They'd been quietly wrapped in thought, watching the first stars appear, Susan sitting with her back against the tree and Peter sprawled on his back.

"I was just thinking," he answered her, "about what Aslan said."

He didn't need to elaborate. Aslan's parting words had been on both their minds in the month since they'd returned from Narnia, but with school, family and other activities this was the first time they'd had alone together.

"They've learned all they can from Narnia," the great Lion had told the others. "Now it's time for them to live in their world."

"What d'you think _you've_ learned?" Susan asked.

Peter leaned up on one elbow. "Well, a year ago I resented having to take Father's place while he was away at war. I didn't want to be "the man of the house". I wanted Father to be home where he belonged. And then we went to Professor Kirke's and I had to be even more responsible for all of you." Susan made a little movement of protest but Peter held up a hand. "Maybe you didn't think so, but that was how I felt." He sat up facing her. "Then we found ourselves in Narnia and there was a whole _other_ group of people expecting me to take care of them and I didn't want to. If I was going to save a world, why couldn't it be my own? Why couldn't I do something to stop _our_ war and bring Father home?" He shook his head. "Of course, I couldn't do that but I came to realize that I _could_ help the Narnians. So I finally accepted the responsibility and became High King Peter. That was the lesson I learned from our first trip - to accept responsibility whether I'd asked for it or not and to do my best with it."

He stopped speaking and looked over at Susan. Even in the half light he could see the understanding in her eyes. "What about you?" he asked. "What did you learn?"

"Do you remember the first time we went, how you were always on at me about being so sensible and practical?" Peter nodded. "I was reacting to the war here too. Everything was so unsettled and so - wrong. I was always trying to keep at least our house, our little piece of the world, under control. Then we went to Narnia and things were even more unsettled. Talking beavers, Father Christmas, a witch turning people into stone… it was all so crazy and I kept trying to make sense of it. Finally I saw that it all did make sense in Narnia and I didn't _have_ to be in control every minute. I didn't have to explain it, just accept it."

"Target practice!" Peter exclaimed, and she nodded with a pleased smile. "Yes, at that moment when you said you were staying, I discovered that I'd come to accept Narnia for the world that it was, and that I wanted to do my part for it too. I learned to try to change what I can but accept the things that I can't change."

There was a long pause as each thought over what the other had said. Then Peter asked, "And the second time we went there?"

Susan took so long to answer that he thought she wouldn't. Then she said thoughtfully, "When we found ourselves back from Narnia, you know how hard it was to go back to being schoolchildren. I kept thinking that at any moment we'd find ourselves in Narnia, being kings and queens again. So I … I held back. I didn't get involved. I didn't let myself care for things - or people - too much because I was waiting to go back. As time passed and nothing happened, I got sort of in the habit of staying aloof. And I was bitter, I guess, because we'd had this wonderful adventure and wonderful lives there and then it was all taken away from us. So I just stayed uninvolved. And I wanted to stop thinking and talking about Narnia because it hurt too much."

Peter remembered the numerous times when Susan had brushed off her brothers and sister or had refused to discuss Narnia any more. They'd been hurt and puzzled by her lack of interest. Now it made sense to him.

Before he could comment, she continued. "Then we were suddenly back in Narnia. I felt so much freer there, more like the old me. I remembered what it was to be a Queen, that you have to care for all your subjects in order to rule properly." She smiled again. "And then there was Caspian." She caught the look in Peter's eye and laughed suddenly. "Is that why you've all been so careful when we've talked about Narnia? Peter, I liked Caspian very much. He was handsome and noble and a very romantic figure. Maybe if we'd stayed there longer something more might have come of it. But this time I knew what was coming. I _knew_ we weren't going to stay forever. And it was okay. The thing was, I learned to let myself care again even though I knew that I wouldn't be with Caspian or even Aslan forever. I learned that locking away your heart is as bad for it as giving it away to everyone. I feel, well, balanced and whole again." She sighed. "I'll still miss it dreadfully, but I can handle it this time. Now, you - what did you learn on our second trip?"

Her brother flushed and looked at the ground. "Maybe you were feeling distant in the past year, but I was feeling rotten. I'd been the High King of Narnia, Peter the Magnificent, for years and then I was - nothing. I was angry and," he grimaced, "back to being resentful again."

Susan said mildly, "You _were_ starting to get a bit of a reputation as a hot-head."

"Oh, I know. All those stupid fights. But I couldn't seem to help myself. Someone would get after me and I'd think, if you only knew who I used to be…" He sighed and shook his head ruefully. "But then, suddenly we were back, and my people were in trouble. They needed their king, and that was me. I welcomed the responsibility and the chance to set things right. I probably sounded rather pompous a lot of the time but I was so determined to be a proper king again. And then there was Caspian. He was the rightful king; I was the old king. We were both proud and stubborn, and as a result we nearly made a complete mess of everything. Nothing went right until we started working together. My first lesson was to take responsibility. My second lesson was to learn when to let it go. As you say, balance." He looked up at the stars, now bright in the autumn sky. "I hated to leave Narnia, especially knowing we would never come back, but what I've learned there will be with me always."

Susan nodded and shifted to lean against him, her head on his shoulder. "I wonder how it will go with Edmund and Lucy," she said softly. "It will be hard for them when it's their turn."

"Especially Lucy," Peter agreed. "I think if it weren't for missing us, she could happily live there forever and not mind this world. She's always fit there the best of us."

"She'll come through, though. It is hard, but Aslan will know when the time is right." Susan caught herself with a huge yawn. "C'mon big brother. I think it's time we got some sleep."

Peter stood and she took his offered hand to pull her up. He gathered up the blanket and put an arm around Susan's shoulder. With her arm around his waist, they strolled contentedly back to the waiting house.


End file.
